On the Occasion of My 60th

I am posting this a few days early so please forgive me.  But if you consider wishing me a happy birthday please read this and also wish for your friends who are no longer in your lives.

I have been looking forward to this birthday for a long time, well sixty years or so.  I am very excited to be this age.  When I think about all the people I knew who were not so fortunate it makes me very thankful to have gotten this far.

When I was growing up it was very rare for a young person to experience the death of their friends.  It didn’t seem as violent then as it is now.  Today, young people are constantly confronted with the deaths of their friends, especially in the larger inner cities were gang and drug violence has escalated so much.

About the only violence I experienced in my youth in New Orleans was the occasional bully.  The most memorable such experience was when I was in ninth grade at Capdeau Jr. High School in New Orleans.  One day one of the most notorious bully’s of the school said he was going to beat me up after school.  I was pretty worried about that because I had never been in a fight before.  I was actually quite terrified.  Then an idea came to me and I started telling everyone in all my classes that he was going to beat me up after school.  My thinking was that if enough people showed up the teachers would come and stop the fight before I got murdered.  As it turns out though the bully didn’t show up.  Well with all the people there to witness his not showing I was the hero and he was a chicken, so he lost face and was afraid of me after that.  Meanwhile everyone thought I was this really cool kid.  Haha, little did they know what a chicken I was.

So anyway, today I would like to dedicate my wishes, to all my friends who never were able to live their lives to their natural end.  When I think of all the people I knew who were killed in Viet Nam, it makes me really sad that there was such a waste of life.  And I am especially saddened when I think of the thousands who have died in the war in Iraq on both sides.  Why can’t we stop killing each other?

Today I would also like to remember all of my friends who have died of AIDS.  In the beginning when no one knew why people were dying it was very scary.  People were just getting sick and no one knew what to do or why.  Then when doctors began to admit that there was an illness people became afraid and abandoned their friends.  It was very lonely for many people.  I had one good friend who in the last months of his very young life, he was 23, only had two people who would visit him.  Why do we have to treat each other that way?

I have lost the most friends due to either war or AIDS, but there have been others who have died either because of drug overdoses or traffic, mostly motorcycle, accidents, or in some cases suicide.

Getting older has in some ways been a lonely experience.  While I have many many friends I have only one from my youth.

How did I manage to live when so many have died?  That question is always on my mind.  Since there is nothing I can do to change the past the only thing I can do is try to live my life as best I can for their sake.

I would like to dedicate this birthday to all those whose life has ended early and were not fortunate enough to live as long or as fully as I have.

Ohigan and Effort the 4th Paramita

Today is the Equinox, the heart of the Ohigan season, and today I’ll write about Effort.

By some accounts the Six Paramitas came about as a Mahayana response to what they felt was an over emphasis on development of self by only adhering to the Four Noble Truths and the Eight-Fold Path, which are primarily focused on self.

Effort as one of the Six Paramitas is viewed slightly different than Effort as one of the Eight-Fold Path.  Here, Effort is our effort on behalf of others.   Effort is also sometimes translated as Striving.

What kinds of effort should w make is of course a legitimate question, and the answer can simply be stated as effort to bring good and prevent harm.  Effort is also the activity of doing the entire Six Paramitas, as it takes both physical and mental effort to live up to and follow these six guidelines.

Doing good and preventing harm can in some ways be seen as an extension to Dana and following the Five Precepts.  And indeed it is so.  We can not really separate one from all of the others.

By continually doing what is suggested in these Buddhist guides we become better able to do them better.  Over time, with continued effort we can become so good at following these guides that it becomes easier to do them than to not.  This is both effort and patience, is it not.

Whatever our faults may be, we did not acquire that fault over night.  We must expect to need to exert as much effort to change it as we actually exerted to create it.  In my case it has taken 60 years to create the kind of person I am, good points and bad points.  If I want to change something bad about myself then I will need to strive equally as hard to create new good to replace it.  Perhaps it will take less time, but only if I exert concentrated effort.  An overgrown garden where weeds have taken over didn’t become that way over night, and will not suddenly and magically revert back to a weed free and orderly state merely because we wish it to be so, but only by continued attention to its defects and nurturing of its perfections.

Speaking out against or preventing harm to others is often easier to do as a mental activity, and it certainly helps to begin there, however at some point the effort must be made to develop the kind of life that can move from thought to action.

There are many ways of looking at effort or striving, but they all amount to ‘just doing it’.  In many ways it is as Yoda says, there is no try there is only do, or something like that.  In Buddhism we do consider trying but ultimately trying is just another phase of doing.  Continually exerting effort in the trying phase allows us to accomplish the doing phase.

A good musician doesn’t become so, without effort.  We do not become better able to follow the Six Paramitas without first making those humble attempts and falling short.  There is no wasted effort in Buddhism.

I repeat, there is no wasted effort in Buddhism.

Ohigan and Paramita 3

The third paramita or perfection is patience.

Ah, patience….

That elusive trait that I have difficulties in giving to others and in giving to myself.

As I was thinking about this it occurred to me that it is different than being tolerant, at least as I see it.  Let me give an example to see if you can follow my thinking.  If I tolerate something that someone is doing then I am ‘granting’ them or ‘giving’ them my permission to not do it correct.  However, if I am patient with what they are doing I accept it as a gift from them, what they are doing.  Does that make sense.

In a way, one is something that I am giving another the other is accepting from them.

I may be muddying the waters even more here, so let me try again.  If, for example someone is moving slowly, I may tolerate it and in so doing I might say nothing externally but internally I am judging their actions.  If I am patient with what they are doing, I accept it from them with no judgement, no condescending attitude, no ifs ands or buts.

With patience I am better able to see the value of what the other person is doing, I am better able to value the other person, I am less likely to make judgements of superiority or inferiority.  A person moving slowly may after all be very methodical, if I am tolerant and not patient then I may miss the good qualities in everyone and everything.

Something I try to keep in mind is that everyone does the best they can, always!  How can I say that in face of people who are seemingly sloppy, or inattentive or any number of other faults we may ascribe to people?  Well it is easy, regardless of a person’s ability which is different from their actual performance everyone always does the best they can, even if not the best they are able.

To be patient allows me to be able to see perhaps the limiting factors on a person’s abilities.  Things such as a death in the family may cause someone to be inattentive, or perhaps some problem at home for which they are unable to resolve may prohibit a person from performing to the maximum of their ability, but at the moment they are doing the best they can.  I might be able to read, but without my glasses I can only see poorly and so have a difficult time reading.  A person may have just been chewed out by the customer in front of you unjustly and so now they are short with you, still they are doing the best they can, even if not the best they are able.

If we are patient then we allow ourselves to step into the other person’s shoes or life for a moment.  Perhaps we can see the problem and help to resolve it or maybe not, but we can be sympathetic at least.  If we are only tolerant then we are still holding them accountable to our standards and not granting them their own lives and problems.

We certainly want our extenuating circumstances factored in when people view us, why should we not be equally generous with others.

Ok, that is patience with others, how about ourselves?  Are we as individuals patient with ourselves, allowing ourselves the kind of space to be able to grow and overcome our individual challenges?

I suppose there is a lot more to say, others have said lots, but I’ll leave it with those thoughts and questions for you to consider.

Ohigan and Six Paramitas No. 2

The word paramita was originally translated into Chinese from two wordsparam and ita.  Param translated as “to the other shore” and ita as ” reached.”   It is believed that by observing the Paramitas one is able to cross the shore of birth and death and reach the shore of nirvana.

In this installment of my six part blog on the Six Paramitas I will talk some about number two, Observing the Precepts.

There are many precepts given in Buddhism depending often upon whether you are a lay practitioner or a priest and whether you are a female or male.  However, what we will focus on are the first five which apply to all.

The Five Precepts are; not to take life, not to take what is not yours, not to engage in sexual misconduct, not to tell and untruth, and not to use intoxicants.

Some of these are pretty straight forward and some are variously interpreted, sometime loosely and sometimes very strictly.  I guess it depends upon how much ‘wiggle’ room you want to give yourself.

I like to point out though that when ever we equivocate or try to make excuses or bend the rules then we are ignoring an inability to be honest with ourselves.  I personally don’t care one way or another how strictly a person adheres to these rules, after all it is not up to me to judge.  But what does concern me is when ever someone tries to dance around the point, rather than being honest with oneself and others.

The first one is not to take life.  It means what it says, period.  Now as to whether you must be vegetarian to be a Buddhist I would say no, you don’t, but I would say that you won’t be able to completely fulfill the first of these precepts.  There may be many reasons you have for not adhering to this precept, but you should at least be honest and admit to yourself that you are not.  Perhaps in time you will change, perhaps you will have a greater desire to change if you can be honest with yourself.

I am not perfect in adhering to being a vegetarian.  I can make all kinds of excuses, but they are just that, excuses. Can I do better, yes I can, should I do better, yes I should, will I do better, I will try.  This is my journey to enlightenment and it will depend on me coming to terms honestly and frankly about my inability to follow this precept.  I can’t do it if I am making excuses though.

The second precept is not to take what is not yours.  This sound easy, but there are some examples where I think for some people it becomes difficult to follow this.  One such example is finding money.  Do you take it, do you leave it, do you try to return it?  What do you do?  It is easy to leave it if it is a penny, but are you leaving it because it is not yours or because it isn’t worth your time?  What if it is a $20 or a $50 bill?  Do you leave it, or try to return it?  Remember it isn’t yours, just because someone else lost it.  Now if you pick it up are you a bad person, not necessarily it just means you didn’t observe the second precept.  ARe you making excuses trying to justify your action, saying things like “if I don’t take it someone else will and the person who lost it still won’t get it back?”  Are you trying to justify your action?  If so then you have a problem with being honest about what you are doing and this is at the heart of Buddhism.  Learning to be honest and true both with ourselves and to ourselves.

Not to engage in sexual misconduct can mean lots of things.  Originally when Buddhist priests were required to be celibate it meant maintaining that celibacy.  Today in many Buddhist denominations marriage is permitted so the precept now says not to engage in sexual misconduct.  Variously this is taught as to not cause harm.  So forcing someone to engage in sex, either physically or psychologically would be wrong.  Having sex outside of a relationship unless it was agreed upon mutually would be wrong.  The list could go on, and I don’t think I need to do that here.  It is often said that when the missionaries came to Hawaii they created a list of sexual activities and relationships that were taboo, which was interestingly funny to the Hawaiians because they had so many more than were on the list or else they invented others so the missionaries did little except to increase the creativity of Hawaiians.

The fourth precept is not to tell an untruth.  In Buddhism there is often a distinction between a lie and an expedient.  A lie is something that causes harm to the other or benefits only oneself.  An expedient is something that benefits the other.  We often engage in what some call white lies in order to make people feel better or to cheer people up.  We don’t do it for our own benefit, though husbands probably do when they say their wife’s hair looks great when they really can’t see any difference.  They just know that telling the truth will make the wife mad and get them in trouble.  Funny that.

The underlying factor is who benefits and what is the real motivation.  Again, we need to be careful about when we find ourselves making excuses about our behavior.  It is often a sign that there is an underlying problem we are unwilling or unable to look at with honesty.

Finally the last precept is to not use intoxicants.  For some this is further loosened up by adding the qualification of not to use them to the point of loosing control of ones mind or body.

In all of this I think the important thing is what kind of commitment you make to yourself and to the Dharma.  Are you true to your commitment and can you be honest about your failings.  This isn’t a game of impress others, or putting on false appearances.  It is about our own path to enlightenment and our ability to lead others to the Dharma.

If we say we are going to do something then we should strive really hard to do just that.  Admit our failure and strive harder the next time to succeed.

The better able we are to follow the precepts the better able we will to model the life of the Buddha and attain enlightenment and enable other to do so too.

Please note, that my intent here isn’t to hold up standards of behavior on which to judge another but to offer what the Buddha teaches us and what our model might be.  It is up to each one of us to determine to what level we can and are able to observe the precepts and follow the paramitas.

Tomorrow I’ll write some thoughts about the third paramita, my weakness, and that is patience.  I know there are many out there who are so much better at it than I and they won’t need to read what I write, so I’ll be mainly writing for myself.

Ohigan Time to Focus on the Six Paramitas

Twice a year as the equinox occurs we celebrate Ohigan. This is a time during which we pay particular attention to our practice of the Six Paramitas, for the five days surrounding the equinox. While we are supposed to adhere to these Six Paramitas every day, in all actuality for many on a day-to-day basis we probably sometimes fall a bit short of the mark. So during the Ohigan season we are encouraged to refocus our attention on being mindful and practicing with greater diligence these six rules or guidelines.

The Six Paramitas are; 1. Giving – Dana, 2. Discipline – Five Precepts, 3. Patience, 4. Effort, 5. Meditation, and 6. Wisdom. The Five Precepts are; 1. Not to take life, 2. Not to take what is not yours, 3. Not to engage in sexual misconduct, 4. Not to tell an untruth, 5. Not to use intoxicants.

As an aide to focusing our behavior and our mind, or at least my behavior and my mind, I thought I would take some time out of the next few days and write about each of the Six Paramitas.

Today, I will start with number one which is Giving or Dana.

Americans are famous for our generosity and volunteerism. We gladly and without second thought rush to aid any and all throughout our communities and the world. It has been said that Americans can be some of the most generous people when it comes to aiding charities. I don’t know if that is true or not, it at least makes us feel good and perhaps prideful of our efforts.

I do know that there are many other countries where people gladly and willing make donations so I do suspect the claim that Americans do more than others. We certainly have had our great moments in history where we have given greatly, even at our own sacrifice.

This first precept of Giving or Dana, is somewhat different than perhaps most people are accustomed to thinking about, though I am sure some do.

Dana is the act of giving without ANY expectation of reward or benefit.

Think about that for a moment. No reward, no thanks, no benefit, no tax deduction, no write off, no name recognition, perhaps no appreciation, no self congratulations, no quiet satisfaction of performance, perhaps even no warm fuzzy feeling. How hard is that?

Just giving because you want to and in appreciation, giving as your thanks.

Imagine if you will, standing at a door (perhaps even a Wal-Mart greeter) and all day long holding the door open for people to walk through. How long could you do it without starting to feel a bit peeved because people didn’t say thank you? How long could you be the greeter at the Wal-Mart door and say “Welcome to Wal-Mart” and have people completely ignore you, or even scowl at you or treat you with disdain? And do it without pay! Just because you wanted to, who would want to?

I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t do it for very long without developing a tension either in my mind or in my gut. I might be able to avoid saying something snarky but I am sure that after a while I would probably be thinking something snarky or worse.

In Buddhism we are not saying go out and be a “for free greeter” at Wal-Mart, but we are trying to learn to be generous with our selves, our time, our lives, our money for no other reason than to express our appreciation to the Dharma or teachings of the Buddha.

Dana, is about being generous. It is about taking to heart the first of the Four Great Vows of a Bodhisattva, which is to save all being no matter how numerous they may be, even before ourselves. What I like to affectionately refer to as the first of the Great Impossibilities. It may be impossible, but that is not an excuse for not trying.

Dana is about selflessness in gratitude. It may be hard, and it may be uncomfortable, but we as Buddhists have to try.

While there is nothing per se wrong with giving and expecting a tax write off, or expecting a thank you, it is important to realize that as far as the Paramita of Dana, that isn’t it.

As we enter the Ohigan season I hope we all strive with just a tad bit more effort to learn to be and to become more genuinely giving.

Why the Confederate Flag?

A lot of things are floating around inside my brain right now and it is difficult to know exactly where to begin getting them all out in writing this.  Back when I was in college, a few years ago, I had to write lots and lots of papers.  During that time I developed a strategy for writing, or I should say someone somewhere unknown now planted the thought, that simply the best way to begin is to just begin.  Letting the process of writing actually lead back to a beginning, and so it shall be with this post about racism.

Recently there was a demonstration in Washington DC about the on-going health reform legislation currently taking shape in congress.  At this demonstration there were Confederate flags as well as some of characterizations of President Obama that were if not down right racist were at least subtly so.  Former President Jimmy Carter has come out and said that he feels that there is an definite racist undercurrent in all of the protests, that many Americans simply cannot accept an African-American as president.

President Obama has subsequently come out and said that he doesn’t see it as racist.  My feeling is that he is being gracious and practical, unfortunate in that if he steps into the quagmire he certainly will meet with a typical white response that there is no racism and he is just playing the race card.  A sad and shallow cop-out used by white people to avoid challenging themselves and their views.

Heck, white men frequently don’t want to even consider the privelage that accrues to them just by the fact of their race and gender.

So, if this isn’t about race or if there is no racism then explain to me what place a Confederate flag has at a health care reform rally?  I can see no reason other than to convey a message that there are white people, perhaps hiding behind a myth of Southern heritage, who feel that there is no place in this debate or in America for a non-white president.

Further if the Confederate battle flag is not a symbol of hate then why is it that at every neo-Nazi, white supremacists, and Klan rally is it to be seen in abundance.  A good friend of mine several years ago said something profound to me that I had not considered and I have not forgotten.  If the Confederate flag isn’t a symbol of hate then why haven’t the Souther Heritage groups fought more vocally and strongly against its use at hate rallies?  Why is it that the heritage groups remain silent when it is used as a symbol of hate?

That flag, really only stands for one thing, at a fundamental level, and that is the continuation of slavery and the misguided pride in a slave holding south.  Oh yes, there are of course arguments that people make about it being about states rights, but what right is core to that argument other than slavery?

Again, where is the heritage voice when that flag is waved at rallies that have nothing to do with a remembrance?  It is no where to be heard, and so in that silence the heritage groups have lost their authentic claim to it NOT being a racist emblem.

I am from the south and for a few years when I was 7th and 8th grade I got caught up in the whole Confederate Southern Heritage idea, with even the thought to join the Sons of Confederate Veterans.  I researched our family and found many interesting facts.  Yes I had Great-Great-Grandfathers who fought in the Confederate Army.  I also found that our family owned five plantations in Georgia and Florida and each one had numerous slaves.  There isn’t a lot in that find to be proud of, is there.

I don’t condemn my deceased relatives for the past.  My rationalities and sensibilities have all been nurtured in a different world.  I don’t justify their actions either.  I guess you could say the best that I am is neutral when judging the past, there really isn’t any way I can judge it, is there?

I live today, and today I know that slavery is wrong.  I know that prejudice is wrong and I struggle constantly with a fundamental distaste and disagreement with the influences I lived under growing up.  I struggle with insuring that the way I live is in accord with my belief in equality.

I can not correct the wrongs of the past, but I am capable and I also feel responsible to do the right thing in the present.

Again, I ask what place does the Confederate flag have at a demonstration concerning national policy?  Simply stated, none!  Further, heritage groups, if they are sincere in their claims about the flag not being a symbol of hate do more to combat its display, and speak out LOUDLY, when it is being used when not appropriate to their self stated claim.

I though, feel that it only stands for hatred and racism!  The proof for that claim is too easy to find and the proof against it is virtually if not completely impossible to find.

Revisiting – a brief travel diary

Mt. Hood

I am having a blast in Portland-Vancouver area actually getting to play tourist.  When I lived here going to school and training at the temple I didn’t really do too many tourist things, although I certainly saw many things.

It is really special when you can re-visit with friends you have made from the past and newly made friends.  I always get a treat out of trying to get my friends together so that they can all meet each other.  It seems just kind of special when I can get people who don’t know each other but who know me all in the same room.  It is especially nice when, as usually happens they all get along together.

Tim & Angel

On my first night here the couple I am staying with and whose wedding I will perform the service for humored me by going to a nice restaurant in downtown Portland that I had developed a hankering for called Mother’s.   It is one of the first restaurants another good friend of mine introduced me too when I first came to Portland.

Diane and I (self portrait)

I had met over Facebook, an online community of people, a really remarkable woman who recently moved back to Portland after living in Alaska for a number of years.  We had exchanged several, many actually, on line snippets and short conversations and it seemed we kind of got along.  She is a Jodo Buddhist priest so we did have some things in common.   Well, I invited her and her son to come along and meet my other friends.

It was a whole lot of fun, though I wish we could have sat at at round table, because that does make conversations easier.  Any way, I had a lot of fun and it did seem that the others did too.

All of that was Wednesday.  Then Thursday I had set aside as my one day to just do some of the things that I had wanted to get done before the wedding stuff kicked in.   First on my list, since I was staying in Vancouver, WA was to visit the old fort here.

So I got in my rental car and took a drive across the city and did that.  I wasn’t overly impressed, there really wasn’t much there, but it wasn’t a totally unpleasant experience.  It was a nice little walk around and they did have some neat things.  But honestly I have seen so much of the same sorts of things at various historic houses and national sites on the east coast.  After you have seen a hundred such historic places you pretty

Mill Stone

much have seen them all.  Again it was a nice walk and a pleasant way to spend the morning.

In the afternoon I had wanted to go visit a place with the nickname, Witch’s Castle.  It is formally called the Stone House.  I guess they try to down play the witch part to discourage some elements of society from attaching too much importance to it.

Diane and I at Witch's Castle

It really is just an old partially destroyed public restroom.  It was built back during the depression era as a public works project to be a public restroom on one of the trails in the northwest part of the city of Portland.  Some time back it was damaged during a storm and never repaired.  So now it sits in the hills on a trail in the NW of Portland.

Well, it was nice little hike , I managed to get Diana to bring her son along, that took most of the afternoon.  We had a good time, saw a snake, lots of moss and ferns, lots and lots of people and finally a very not-scary un-haunted broken stone building.  Fun though and we did have some nice quiet time to walk, think and do some talking.  Those are always good things, yes?

Oh my, what I hadn’t taken into account when I was planning all of this stuff was traffic.  I was stuck in rush hour traffic on the way home.  It does seem to me like the traffic in Portland has gotten worse that it was when I was here two years ago.  But maybe it is just that since the economy is so bad and there are so many people out of work that they just drive around more.  Who knows?

Bathroom ceiling at Rimsky's - the entire bathroom is as if you are underwater

Thursday night was dessert night at Rimsky’s.  It is hard to describe Rimsky’s to someone without referencing Alice in Wonderland or the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party.  I first was introduced to

Rimsky’s by Max’s mom.  Max, a remarkable young man that I met when he attended the Portland Nichiren temple, and his Mom and I were going to see a play one evening and since it ended up being sold out we all went to the place.  They only serve dess

ert and is only open from 8PM to 2AM.  Since that time I have been numerous times.

They have two special ‘trick’ tables there that are neat to have unsuspecting friends sit at.  One table slowly revolves around so gradually in degrees your

Bathroom at Rimsky's

drink or dessert creeps away from you and ends up in front of someone else

.  The other table slowly, ever so slowly, sinks into the floor and then rises again to almost shoulder height.

The movements are so gradual you can’t re

ally perceive them unless you are actually sitting at them for an extended time.

Max, Arnesto (Diane's son), and Diane

Well, anyway, last night I got Max and his family, Diane and her son

, and Tim and Angel all together there.  We had a great time.  Again it was neat having some of my friends who don’t know each other all get together in the same room and meet.  I don’t know why I like doing that, it just seems really neat.  I guess I like being the six degrees.

So, today is a day of meeting the bride and groom’s families and then a lunch, a practice in the afternoon and then a bit of free time.  I think I’ll head to Voodoo donuts tonight another thing I had wanted to do.

Diane & Ann (Max's mom)

I’ll post more of this later on in installment 2 after I leave on Sunday.  I do have some more friends I’ll be hanging out with so it will be all fun.  I may even have some photos from the wedding to share as well.

Stay tuned, if you want.

Friends, Good and Bad

To be surrounded by friends is fortunate, to be surrounded by friends who are religious or spiritual and open minded is of even greater fortune. To be secure in ones faith I believe allows one to be open to the faith of others. When I see people who are closed minded or intolerant of other people’s beliefs I always think that they are very insecure in their belief. They seem as frightened of other ideas as a child who hides under a blanket, pulling it over the eyes.

Intolerant and closed minded people shut themselves off to other ideas. Someone who is confident and at peace with their belief has no need to fear other ideas, has no need to open up to examination not only the other ideas but even those personally held.

When I was younger and in the Marine Corps stationed in Hawaii I had two really close friends in the barracks I lived in. One a Mormon, one a Bahai, along with myself a Buddhist we lived in an open bay barracks with a heroine addict and dealer at one end and about 80 others indulging in various pursuits to ease the pain of life.

We, the three of us were really close to each other, every evening after our duties were finished we would each grab our bicycles and head out to various parts of the Windward side of the island of Oahu, Hawaii. We would each be headed to our various religious activities for the night. We lived with a sense of purpose and mission. Two of us were conscientious objectors, one the Mormon was not. We were very different from each other in many ways and yet we were very much a like.

When we were unable to go off base or had to remain in the barracks for one reason or another we would ‘huddle’ together and talk. We would have very lighthearted religious debates or rather deep philosophical explorations. I know that each of us felt certain that what we were doing was the correct thing. And while we perhaps wished that the others would subscribe to our individual views we also respected the commitment the others had.

In many ways we formed our own religious academy, training ourselves. We practiced explaining our beliefs even trying to ‘win’ over the others. We honed our skills in many ways. Not the least of which was just tuning out the drugs and suffering, yet wishing and praying that we somehow might be a positive example for the others. In some ways as I look back perhaps because of our focused dedication we may have seemed unapproachable, too ‘perfect’, too ‘religious’.

Part of that feeling has hopefully helped me realize that sometimes the people whom we wish to help are often afraid of our help because they feel they may not live up to some perceived expectation.

If we are uptight, or judgmental, or intolerant then we are certain to be off-putting to many people. They may think we are too ‘perfect’ and yet they also know it is a lie, for no one is perfect.

In Buddhism we practice Dhana, which is selfless giving. I say practice because I really want to emphasize that we try, we struggle with and practice not always successfully. To give something to someone is a very complicated process. Made even more complicated by the fact that we must embrace the other person as a truly respect worthy person who’s life is nothing less than equal to our own. Any hint of anything less sours the giving, taints it with potential feelings of charitable giving.

The gift has to be given freely and with no expectation of any reward or benefit. The gift must be given so freely that even if the gift is refused or even misused then no thought can be given, no regret no anger, nothing. Imagine holding the door open for someone, something that we do here in the US, especially in the South, without even thinking twice about it. Imagine holding the door for countless people, some of whom thank you, some of whom completely ignore you and most of whom cuss you out or slander you for your effort. Would you be able to continually hold the door for people without feeling the slightest bit of some emotion other than great and limitless joy at having been able to and expectation of doing it again? I know I could not, though I wish I could. And holding the door is only the smallest of effort compared to helping others to eliminate suffering.

People who are insecure in their faith are unable to place themselves in positions of possible inferiority, especially when it comes to their own ego or their own ideas of what is right or wrong. People who are intolerant certainly can not. When we are acting in those ways we have a need to be or feel superior, we depend on and defend positions of correctness and right-ness, we become righteous, self-righteous. In that position we are far less approachable than if we are welcoming, embracing and respecting.

I have an absolute conviction in my belief, a conviction that allows me to embrace and appreciate and respect other peoples conviction. And yet when someone is so resolute that they become intolerant they cause suffering and they are, I believe, living a suffering life.

The three of us, friends in the Marine Corps, because we were committed to our own beliefs but also open to other people’s conviction, welcomed and embraced and even encouraged each other. We all grew from our relationship, I learned so much from those two other guys, and even from the others in the barracks who weren’t ‘religious’, whatever that really means. I learned things that I would never have learned by surrounding myself with like minded people.

The blowing rock at Blowing Rock, NC

while I know it isn’t always easy and I don’t always succeed I do in my heart believe that whenever someone has a view that is contrary to my own, there is something there none-the-less that I can learn. I know it is easier to open up to or learn from those who agree, often times the greater learning can come from the places where it is the most difficult.

In Buddhism we have two terms used to describe friends. We say they are either good friends or bad friends. Good friends are the ones who help us grow and may at times seem like bad friends possibly. That is, someone may persecute us or hinder us in our faith or practice, and yet by their so doing we are motivated with even greater resolve to strive harder. So the person who is doing bad things then become good friends.

People who make us feel good and whom we may think are good friends may be bad friends because they may not really encourage us to grow and learn, they may not challenge us.

So, the determining factor as to whether someone is a good friend or a bad friend is not in the other person but in our action in response to that other person. In a fashion actually the other person in neutral, it is up to us if they are good or bad.

Written while flying from Charlotte to Denver

8/26/09

VA Healthcare

Other than the GPS not knowing where this place is the morning is going good. So far the experience has been positive. I am impressed by the facility and the staff so far.

I am not sure what I expected, perhaps not something as nice as this. Maybe I was expecting something on the order of a delapidated wooden building with antique equipment.

My last experience with large scale government medicine was at Tripler Army Hospital in Hawaii, but that was in 1972. That was when they thought they wanted to operate on my knees and remove my knee-caps. Thankfully they finally decided not to do that.

Now I am sitting here in the waiting room – nurse just called my name. That was fast.

What a very friendly nurse. I just answered all the preliminary questions and now waiting for the doctor.

The nurse was so apologetic that the VA doesn’t provide every new and latest drug that comes out. For myself I am not sure that every new drug that comes out is good anyway. Some drugs are just old ones rebranded and recommended for uses for which they were never originally intended with only minimul research into the new use. All to keep making money off a drug and to keep it from going generic.

OK, the worst part of this so far is not the waiting, its the waiting in waiting rooms with televisions.  I haven’t watched TV in ages and ages and today I feel like I overdosed on it.  All that was on were the Health Insurance Reform town hall meetings.  What a farce.

People were so fake-mad and tossing out all sorts of wild claims about the current administration.  Most of the time speaking in wildly over-inflated generalities to which there really is no sane rational response.  Saying things like “their tearing this country apart” or “return America to the people (would that be Native American’s)”  or taking away our liberties (would that be like the warrentless wiretaps done by the Bush administration).

It is clear that they really want nothing done.  They would it seem prefer  health care as it is distributed now to the ones who can afford it and then nothing for anyone else.  Which is pretty much how the system works now, especially with so many people un-insured.

Though I have been eligible for VA healthcare all my adult life I have never taken advantage of it, thinking that well I had insurance so I would leave that for those who need it.  I am saddened that even now I have to use the VA, I wouldn’t if it weren’t for “pre-existing” conditions that make health insurance impossible for me to afford.  I could afford to pay for some health insurance but there is nothing I could buy now that would give me any coverage at all and I do need the coverage.

It reminds me of the time when I was in my early 20’s living in Hawaii.  I broke my foot and lost my job because of it.  I had medical bills to fix the foot and when I received them they were in the thousand dollar range (back in 1973 – pretty steep).  So I applied for welfare and they in turn paid the bill to the hospital which was reduced to $190.  I could have paid that but no I couldn’t be billed that.

So now I am taking advantage of my veterans benefit.

As I was leaving today the receptionist called me back and said that she needed to check to see if I qualified for transportation reimbursement.  I thought for sure I wouldn’t be, I only live 6 miles away.  Yet low and behold they gave me $7.  I don’t know yet what my co-pay will be for sure but the lady thought it was $8 per month for ALL of my medications (7).  I won’t get rich from this but at least I won’t go broke either.

It would be nice if there was some way we could all get together and come up with something for everyone.  You would think that with as large a country as this, with all of our technology and clever people we could work something out.  Looks like maybe we can’t.

Living with them

Frequently in life we find ourselves living or working or engaging in commerce with people who don’t believe, think, or act like us; and it can be most frustrating.  In almost all things the thing we find most uncomfortable is to be exposed to people different from ourselves.  We find comfort in sameness and likeness.

As Buddhist, or any other minority belief, it can be especially challenging when faced with very dogmatic and strident believers of another religion and even more so if they are family.  I have on more than one occasion been asked by a practitioner how they should go about practicing and believing when all of their family does not agree and in some cases are intolerant of anything other than the family tradition.

Generally speaking my advice is given on a case by case basis but I was struck the other day by something I recalled that St. Francis had said when giving advice to his Lesser Brothers on how to live with what where then called Saracens, or Arabs and non-Christians.

“Let any brother who desires go among the Saracens and other non-believers.  They can live spiritually among the Saracens and non-believers in two ways.  One way is not to engage in arguments or disputes, but to be subject to every human creature for God’s sake, and to simply acknowledge that they [the friars] are Christians.  The other way is to announce the Word of God…For love of him, they must make themselves vulnerable to their enemies.” Reluctant Saint; the Life of Francis Assisi by Donald Spoto

Bears getting along. (photo taken traveling to Hokkaido Japan)

Notice in his instruction he says “not to engage in arguments”.  I think this is a very important point to keep in mind.

Sometimes arguing can be the least effective way to influence someone to your way of belief. And frequently we are most persuasive when we are actually living our belief silently by example.  We think that making ‘noise’ so to speak is louder than ‘silence’ and yet it is ‘silence’ that is more hearable than ‘noise’.

In the Lotus Sutra the Buddha advises us as follows:

“When you see anyone who does not receive this sutra by faith, you should show him some other profound teaching of mine, teach him, benefit him, and cause him to rejoice.  When you do all this you will be able to repay the favors given to you by the Buddhas.” Lotus Sutra Chapter XXII

“I am always thinking: ‘How shall I cause all living beings to enter into the unsurpassed Way and quickly become Buddhas?'” Lotus Sutra Chapter XVI

“Medicine-King! How should the good men or women who live after my extinction expound this Sutra of the Lotus Flower of the Wonderful Dharma to the four kinds of devotees when they wish to?  They should enter the room of the Tathagata, wear the robe of the Tathagata, sit upon the seat of the Tathagata, and then expound this sutra…To enter the room of the Tathagata means to have great compassion towards all living beings.  To wear the robe of the Tathagata means to be gentle and patient.” Lotus Sutra Chapter X

What we are instructed by the Buddha to have is compassion towards any and all beings.  We must develop those traits first in order to really genuinely be able to lead anyone to the Buddha path.  If we are compassionate then we will be gentle towards them, understanding their lives and respecting all others. If we respect others then we value them and that means we also respect and value their differences.

Next we must be patient in all things, especially when interacting with other people.  Just as St. Francis says not to argue, we too should not argue.  If the strength of our faith and practice lies in argument then we have a very weak foundation.  For if we are truly resolute in our faith then we can be expansive enough to include respect, tolerance and patience.  When we view life from the Buddhist perspective we have an infinite amount of time, life after life.

We must also remember that many paths lead to the one objective of Enlightenment and the attainment of Buddhahood.  If folks can not accept our belief but can respect us in our belief then they have made wonderful causes for the future.  If however people do not respect us in our belief then we have actually given them every reason to not believe as we do, why should they.

The Buddha instructs us to show them this or show them another thing.  Emerson said something to the effect that what is most important is not what religion we belong to but to encourage the religiousness in each of us to work towards eliminating suffering.  There are many ways to alleviate suffering, and the most effective way to continue suffering is if we are too hung up on ‘converting’.

Let us, together, walk along our paths.  If you should decide that you wish to go along my path then together we can encourage each other?  On the other hand should you choose to follow another, the how can I encourage you along your way?

From the perspective of the Lotus Sutra we all are Buddhas and whether a person realizes it in this lifetime or another that potential will be manifest.  Let us have tolerance, compassion, and patience toward one another.  There should be no problem living, working, or interacting with others.